Once I got to the East island, and the Lance storyline picked up, Vice City Stories became just as much fun as I expected. I guess that's really my problem with the game: I already know what to expect. Hell, I already know the ending.

My feelings on empire building are mixed. It's much less frustrating than the gang warfare in San Andreas, and less of a pain in the ass than asset ownership in Vice City - there's no pointless running around town just to walk through a money-collection icon. And it's actually easy enough that I took over the entire city in a single night, turning all 30 ownable locations into high-rolling whorehouses. But that's pretty much the end of it. Now I get $72,000 deposited into my wallet every evening.

It's certainly more rewarding than previous GTAs' side-mission components - both financially, and because it's easy to make progress - but by the time you realize how little there is to it, you've seen it all.

As I've said, there's no doubt in my mind that Vice City Stories is the best of the PS2-era GTAs. But that isn't good enough to keep me going anymore. I'm tired of RenderWare engine bugs, I'm tired of unfair balancing (getting perforated at the end of a 10-minute mission is never fun!), and I'm tired of the dated pay-n-spray wanted system. It's time for me to move on.

Back when it was known as Darksiders: Wrath of War, and appeared to be a badass Shadow of the Colossus with a chaingun, I was really looking forward to it. Fast forward a few years, the thing actually comes out, and apparently it's a Diablo-inspired Zelda. Which sounds less exciting, since Zelda clones tend to be pretty shitty; but actually, as far as I saw in the demo, Darksiders is quite good.

It does a lot of things - button-mashy combat, dungeon puzzles, Zelda items - but it does all of them well. And it looks consistently gorgeous, too. I was a little worried that the game would be too "edgy" for me, but the theme and story (again, as far as I saw in the demo) take a back-seat to the compelling gameplay.

Definitely going to pick this up at some point.

The Logic gameplay device is genuinely engaging, and, to my surprise, Miles ended up having some pretty interesting character development (who knew that he was such a big fan of the Steel Samurai?). But much like Apollo Justice, I feel that this installment has diminished its storytelling quality, in the pursuit of ever-more-complicated scenarios.

All five of the game's cases are intimately inter-related, although I don't feel like they're told in the right order; and the segues inbetween them are shaky at best. Somewhere around the third case, I started noticing a dip in the game's polish: more frequent typos, evidence presentations that didn't really fit, bizarre plot devices, and meaningless character cameos. By case four, I felt like I was just going through the motions. The fifth and final case was laboriously long, told in three separate parts - and while the last part really impressed me as an authentic Ace Attorney case, the rest of it seemed very sloppy and over-complicated.

Since Ace Attorney's gameplay and story are inextricably linked to one another, the Logic mechanics, regrettably, suffered for these writing weaknesses. Logic was largely neglected through most of the fifth case, and where it was used, there tended to be very few leads, making it more a game of connect-the-dots than a genuine mental challenge.

With some significant tightening up, Ace Attorney Investigations could have easily been my favorite in the series: the case premises are great, and the new gameplay is right up my alley. But the progressively slapdash writing, and subsequent sacrifices in the Logic mechanic, put it firmly at the bottom of my list.

Weird note: for a game that so heartily dives into series fanservice, Phoenix Wright is nowhere to be seen. His absence is downright conspicuous, with frequent dialog allusions to him as "that man," and one particularly impactful moment in case 5 where Miles channels the spirit of by-the-skin-of-your-teeth cross-examination. Not that that's necessarily a "bad" thing - this game's characters are, in general, capable enough - but considering he was even built into Apollo Justice's plot, it just seems, well, odd.

Better than: Touch Detective
Not as good as: Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney
Twelve-year-old Franziska in a flashback: is simultaneously adorable and intimidating

Edgeworth is very much an Ace Attorney game. If you've liked the series, you will like this. If you haven't, then you probably won't.

There are three notable differences between this game and the rest of the franchise:

1) It stars Miles Edgeworth. No kidding. Since Miles already became a likable hardass in earlier Ace Attorney games, he doesn't possess the development arc that made Phoenix Wright an interesting character. But, he does have his own charms, e.g. his inner-voice's superiority complex.

2) It's about investigating (whoa!). In two chapters, I haven't set foot in a courtroom once. AAI instead places a heavy emphasis on crime scene action: the Logic system (comparable to the psyche-lock system) allows Miles to connect observations and thoughts, forming leads to follow-up on. You'll still interview people and scrutinize in-the-field testimony, pointing out contradictions and presenting evidence, but - at least so far - there are no gavels.

3) You can walk around. This is the most visible new feature of the game, but really, the least consequential. Static portraits and navigation menus have become isometric fields and connected entrances/exits (although it should be said, most of the game does the scene-to-scene navigation for you). Instead of tapping to investigate, you walk to it and Examine. This can lead to some awkwardness in positioning Edgeworth properly to examine particular objects, but the maps are designed well enough that it's almost never an issue.

If there's any meaningful difference between this game and its predecessors, it's that there's less of an emphasis on the diverse Ace Attorney cast, and more on the crime scene. But it's no deal-breaker - if you're interested in keeping up with Gumshoe and Franziska, Ace Attorney Investigations does not disappoint.

For what it's worth, I was more impressed by the first case than the second. They were both enjoyable, but the second case involved a few slightly-dubious leaps of logic.

Jesus Christ. This game is terrible. There is really no redeeming value in it.

The characters are un-likable, poorly acted, and poorly written. The story is a mess - whole chapters of the plot are clearly and blatantly missing, so by the end, it doesn't even make sense anymore. The controls, as I've explained, are absolute shit. And the game is wont to throw challenges at you that are complicated by the difficult aiming, along with the complete failure of all AI: enemy forces become stronger with numbers, not intelligence, and friendlies are just as likely of running into your line of fire, as they are of shooting you because you're standing between them and an enemy.

Getting caught in the environment, audio glitches, nonsensical fight scenes - the whole thing is a shambles. There is nothing to like in this game. Period.

Better than: uhh...
Not as good as: basically, anything
How IO Interactive continues to work: is totally beyond me

Umbrella Chronicles succeeded for a few reasons: it was based on memorable moments from the Resident Evil franchise; it came out when Wii rail-shooters weren't an epidemic; and it kept its content simple, and easily digestible. Darkside Chronicles, while mechanically superior to its predecessor, thoroughly ruins those advantages to the point of being more annoyance than video game.

It falls victim to its own tropes with depressing regularity: every five minutes, if not more often, you will see bodies on the ground - obviously about to turn into zombies - but unloading ammo into them does nothing. The game proceeds past them, then the camera turns around, and they rise up to attack you. It's a moronic gimmick that the game delights in repeating, and is downright insulting in its frequency.

Similarly, in boss fights, you will deplete the screen-filling health meter long before the boss dies. Each one has more phases than you expect, and in every case, the amount of time you spend fighting a boss after "killing" it is ludicrous.

For that matter, the amount of time you spend in the game, period, is outlandish. Of its three scenarios, the wrapper story, Operation Javier, is not terrible (if somewhat retarded); and the Resident Evil 2 flashback is fine, though a bit long in the tooth; but the Code: Veronica section is absolute garbage, and frustrating in its refusal to end. It is ridiculous.

Lengthening the Umbrella Chronicles experience might sound like an obvious goal for a sequel, but Darkside Chronicles is really too long for its own good. My cohort and I found ourselves wishing for characters to die, and for the game to end, more than anything else. That it's been a month and a half since my last post on the game - which syncs up with the last I played it - should speak for itself.

And of course, it doesn't help that inbetween Umbrella and Darkside, Dead Space: Extraction has shamed it and set a new bar for the rail shooter genre. Frankly, Dead Space makes this Resident Evil shit look like cheap parlor tricks.

Darkside Chronicles isn't all bad: with the exception of the endless Code Veronica segments, and the kind of insipid plot you've come to expect from Resident Evil, it's fun to sit down with a friend and shoot up some zombies. But, in this post-DSE era, that's far from enough.

Better than: until the Code Veronica part, Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles
Not as good as: after the Code Veronica part, Resident Evil: The Umbrella Chronicles
Really not as good as: Dead Space: Extraction

They say that familiarity breeds contempt. Vice City Stories being my fourth excursion into the PS2 GTAs, ... well, "contempt" isn't really the right term. Maybe "lack of excitement?" Not that I dislike it, but I'm just not that motivated to turn the game on.

Vice City is still, easily, my favorite GTA setting (although the game so far has taken place mostly in the shitty side-streets of the West island). Miniature, built-for-PSP missions are just as pleasant here as they were in Chinatown Wars. And the PS2 GTA engine in Vice City Stories is its finest incarnation, full-stop. But it still feels dreadfully inadequate in several ways, and exceedingly, well, familiar.

The biggest disappointment of Vice City Stories is how weak the narrative is. This may be changing - I've only just begun dealing with Vice City personality Lance Vance - but thus far, there's no real consistency to the plot, and the characters are mediocre at best. With the exception of protagonist Vic Vance, who possesses a surprisingly "Niko Bellic" vibe. But that's why I'm disappointed: the rest of the cast doesn't measure up to him at all.

Anyway, I'm rambling. Aside from the story elements, and given that I haven't bothered with Liberty City Stories, Vice City Stories is undoubtedly the best PS2 GTA. Which is good! But not great.

There are a few rooms that really tested my patience, and made me curse the slightly-floaty controls. The game sometimes demands a level of precision that slippery movement can make intensely difficult. But it's hard to stay mad at VVVVVV, because you never lose more than a few seconds of progress.

Despite its brevity - I finished in about two hours of gameplay - there is even a little diversity to the experience. Each of the game's six (depending how you count them) levels has its own game-altering gimmick; and to find the levels, you'll need to explore the space around your ship, in what somewhat resembles a Metroid-styled overworld. The collectible trinkets add a little extra flavor, along with some unlockable modes, although for my part I think pursuing these would be more frustration than it's worth.

VVVVVV doesn't reach the divine heights of Braid or show you as diverse environs as a Super Mario. But it's a unique and impressive platform game that'll get your mind going, and is relatively easy to digest. Also, the music is awesome.

If you're at all frugal - and don't get me started about being frugal - $15 for a two-hour game will strike you a little roughly. In a marketplace where hours-long games tend under $10, VVVVVV really isn't priced competitively. But try looking at it another way: that's just more than a good lunch, or a movie ticket. This is fun, for $15. Who cares! Do it.

Better than: most Flash games
Not as good as: Braid
Ideal price point: $5, I'd think

I seem to recall saying that I wouldn't play Mass Effect again. Well, the sequel has been getting ridiculously good reviews, and I am aching to play it. But! I know that the moment I buy it, it'll get a crazy Steam sale, because that's just how things work. So I decided to try a fresh start in the first game. And I'm glad I did - but a few hours into it, I think I've had enough.

Last time, I played as an Infiltrator class: a tech/weapons hybrid, which I really just chose for the sniper rifle specialization. This time I tried the Vanguard, a biotic/weapons hybrid, and really the biggest difference is that I miss my sniper rifle. Biotic skills are neat, but I'd much rather order my party members to use them, and stick to shooting for myself. I'm pretty sure my ideal ME1 class would have been the Soldier. I've read that the classes in ME2 are much more diverse and interesting, and frankly, that doesn't sound like a very tall order.

Another thing I changed this time, knowing the limitations of the game's decision-making aspects, was to force my character to be as obnoxious and risky as possible - that is, just selecting the bottom-right conversation option all the time. Basically, I made Space Bitch Shepard. And in contrast to the let-down of trying a new class, I was actually quite pleased with the results of this, both for the item rewards and for the hilarious dialog that ensued.

There were a few other things I did differently by accident. For instance, Click to read spoiler

I talked to the C-Sec drunk in Chora's Den before shooting the place up - and found out that Captain Anderson was going to be the first human Spectre. Whoa!

Doing some Citadel bullshit in a different order resulted in content I'd completely missed last time.

That last part - knowing that there's so much of the game lore that I happened to miss (not to mention all the side-quests I never did) - is the reason I'd really consider playing the game again. But, most of the game is still no different, and I'm not very excited by the prospect of trudging through all of it again. I'd like to just load up my old save and go do some side-quests, but of course, I can't do that because I'm saved way past a point of no return. Nuts.

Anyway, I learned a lot about the depth and breadth of the Mass Effect mythos, and I'm more excited than ever to play Mass Effect 2. And as for the sequel's consequences to decisions I made in the first game? Well, thank Gunpei for downloadable save files.

This has some pretty strong buzz surrounding it, so I had to give the demo a whirl. After all, dumb gimmicky Flash games can be a fun afternoon-waster.

A few minutes later, I'd decided: VVVVVV is brilliant.

I didn't even finish the demo, but I'm hooked already. The game mechanics are simple, so it's incredibly fast to get into - but challenging in the levels' somewhat-evil difficulty. And yet, it never feels frustrating, because of the exceedingly generous checkpoint system. A single challenge may take several tries and several deaths, but at least in the demo, I never had to repeat a sequence so long that I'd call it bullshit.

Of course, I'd be lying if I said the presentation had nothing to do with the game's charm. The blocky retro graphics and simple character emotions (your guy frowns when he dies) are adorable, and the high-energy chiptune music perfectly suits the game action.

The appeal of the game has a lot in common with Braid, which is a very good thing.